


One Night in Nassau and the Tough Guys Tumble

by EllaStorm



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: AccidentalWhore!Edward, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom!Edward, Gift Fic, M/M, filthy dirty porn, no seriously, this is all you'll find here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-27 02:37:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10799949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaStorm/pseuds/EllaStorm
Summary: Edward is mistaken for a hooker. He rolls with it. (This is mostly plotless, filthy, self-indulgent porn. Don't say I didn't warn ya.)





	One Night in Nassau and the Tough Guys Tumble

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meereswiederkaeuer](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=meereswiederkaeuer).



> This story is a birthday present to my dear friend @meereswiederkaeuer who wanted me to write – and I quote – “filthy, dirty, bottom-y porn” about AccidentalWhore!Edward Kenway. So, abandon all hope ye who enter, ‘cause this is literally all you’re going to find here. What you might discover as a bonus, though, is that I have bended time, space and basically _destroyed_ the continuity of AC to make not only filthy porn but also a crack pairing of two people happen who lived and died two hundred years apart from each other in canon.
> 
> The title has been taken from the Chess song “One Night in Bangkok”. (“I can feel the devil walking next to me” was a close contender, given Edward’s nickname…)
> 
> Meere, love, I hope I could do your prompt a little justice and you’ll like this filthy little piece of literature. What do they say? Friends give each other gifts. Besties write/draw porn for each other.
> 
> Happy Birthday!

 

Nassau was not what it had been once.

The streets were dirtier, the nights louder, the taverns fuller of shady people quick to draw knives and guns when it came to a fistfight. Ships had been laying at anchor lately, ships that belonged neither to England nor to France nor to Spain – at least not officially.

 _Pirates._ That was what they were whispering in the streets. _Pirates everywhere._

Federico had never particularly liked the British, and he had learned to outright hate their pedantry. Those bastards were sticking their long noses into everything that wasn’t theirs, and even though his shop selling fine Italian garments was going well enough, his _other_ shop selling fine Italian weaponry was going even better. He was currently not paying taxes on the latter and he wasn’t planning to do so any time soon. If the pirates were to take over this island – he certainly wouldn’t stop them. Maybe he would place a discount on all daggers and pistols in the next few days, help them out a little. Surely couldn’t hurt the business.

Federico whistled happily as he stepped over the threshold of his shop into the hot Carribean night, locking the door behind him. The climate was something he’d really had to adapt to when he’d sailed here from Italy five years ago to start his venture, but now he couldn’t imagine ever living anywhere else again. Life was easy here, a lot easier than in Firenze, even though the family Auditore was certainly not among the poorest. His father, Giovanni, his mother, Maria, his sister, Claudia, and his brothers, Ezio and Petruccio, all had an infallible sixth sense when it came to investing money. Federico found, looking up through the swaying palm leaves into the starry tropical sky, that he did miss them a little bit. But he’d miss his freedom more, if he ever were to go back. That was for sure.

Speaking of freedom: This was a night Federico wasn’t going to let go to waste. His innards were itching for a good swig of rum and other parts of him were yearning for a nice, warm body between his thighs. He was by no means bad looking – none of the Auditore men really were – and with a little bit of effort he was likely to get the latter without having to pay for it, but he wasn’t in the mood for effort, and he wasn’t in the mood for women, either. Which meant that he was going to have to keep his well-filled purse of _Reales_ at the ready.

Thinking about the logistics had made Federico’s desire for sex take precedence over his desire for alcohol, so he took a left and made his way towards the part of town that could hopefully offer what he was looking for. He wasn’t really one for the boys so many men seemed to like, wide-eyed, young, smooth, and naïve. Sadly it was way easier to find a female whore that wasn’t a girl than to find a male one that wasn’t a boy.

It took Federico ten minutes to reach the alleyway frequented by everyone in Nassau who was looking for, well, _special_ kind of fun. He scanned the shadows of the rundown buildings along it: As predicted, there were plenty of sweet-looking boys around but nothing that really tickled his fancy. Although… something to his right caught Federico’s gaze. At the corner of the building across the street he spotted a tall figure that seemed slightly out of place here.

He moved closer and felt excitement spike up in his veins more and more with each step. The figure in the shadows slowly revealed itself to be a man, clothed in worn-down leather, two small scars on his eyebrow and cheek. His chin showed a little stubble and his blond hair was tied into a bun at the back of his head. He looked positively dangerous and Federico felt himself grow half-hard in his breeches. This man, whoever he might be, was a gift sent by the heavens, and he would pay every price to have him.

With a few swift steps he walked up to the stranger.

“How much?” he asked, a small smile on his lips.

The man frowned at him. “Excuse me?”

His voice was deep and gruff with a small but distinguishable British element, and his eyes were expertly sizing Federico up. He was taller than him, not too much, just a little, but enough to give him a considerable advantage in a fight. Federico felt his stomach turn into a fiery pit and his pants grow even tighter.

“For the night,” he clarified. It was a little odd that the man didn’t seem to know what he’d come here for, but there were always new whores around here, and since Federico had never seen this one before it was very likely he didn’t yet know all the tricks of the trade. Now he was lifting an eyebrow, only slightly, and looking like he was considering something.

“How much are you offering?”

Federico felt a smile spread all over his face. He’d never gotten this question from any whore. They all had their fixed prices, or at least they all knew how much he’d be willing to pay. The merchant inside him sang with joy at the prospect of bargaining.

“That depends,” he gave back.

“On what?” the man demanded.

“On what you’re worth.”

He saw the lips before him curl into something like an answering smile. “Then you can’t afford me.”

“Oh, I think I can.” Federico had, like the rest of his family, inherited the sixth Auditore sense when it came to investments. And if he knew one thing, then it was that this man was _definitely_ worth an investment. Federico pulled out a delicate silver gun from his back pocket that he’d siphoned off from his production a few months ago and presented it to the man in front of him. “I think you might know how to use this,” he said, softly.

The man licked his lips but didn’t grab the offering just yet.

“I’m willing to put two hundred _Reales_ on top of it. Tomorrow morning,” Federico concluded.

“Four hundred.”

“Three hundred.”

“Four hundred,” the man insisted and Federico laughed.

“Three hundred and fifty.”  
The man narrowed his eyes, but then the left corner of his mouth pulled up and he took the gun from Federico’s hands. The way in which he handled it told Federico that he had been right. This man knew how to use a gun. When he looked up again the man’s eyes were gleaming green in the half-light. “What is your name?” he asked.

“Federico.”

“Edward.”

Federico smiled at him. “Nice to meet you, Edward. Shall we?”

 

 ***

 

Federico had played with the thought of pushing Edward up against the wall of the next building the moment the deal was made and having his way with him right then and there, but he’d staved the reflex off and guided him to his quarters above his garment shop instead. _Haste makes waste_ – and hadn’t he promised himself _not_ to let this night go to waste?

The apartment was relatively spacious, despite only consisting of one room, and Federico had placed importance on the interior design. He couldn’t quite keep the smug smile from his lips when he saw the look of surprise on Edward’s face after lighting the candles, bathing the luxurious tapestries and expensive carpets lining the walls and floor of his dwellings in flickering light.

He pulled off his boots, threw them into the corner and nodded at Edward. “Are you gonna show me what you’re wearing under that leather?”

Edward grinned at him.

He took his sweet time to first drag off his boots, then open all the buckles and cords on his outerwear. Federico did his best not to jump at him and rip the clothes off himself, and his resolve lasted until the final shirt came off and he actually got a good look at Edward for the first time. His upper body consisted mostly of hard, sinewy muscle and his otherwise smooth skin was somewhat scarred. But the most staggering thing was the black ink covering it in elaborate pictures – a ship on the left side of his chest, a steering wheel on the right, a crown, a dagger and a skull on his arm, and probably a lot more Federico wasn’t able to make out quite yet. With two long steps he crossed the gap between them, pulled Edward’s head down and covered his mouth in a bruising, brutal kiss. It took the man a few seconds to get with the programme, but then Federico felt hands tearing at his shirt and teeth biting at his lower lip. This was not what he had pictured. No. No, this was _so much_ _better_ than anything he could _ever_ have pictured.

He used his body weight to push Edward against the wall and pressed his thigh up into his crotch, before he let go of his mouth for a moment.

“You’re not a whore,” he observed. “You’re a pirate.”

Edward laughed. Strands of flax-coloured hair had escaped the bun holding them together under Federico’s onslaught and were now messily framing the sides of his face.

“Indeed,” he gave back, not even the hint of an apology in his words. “But we, too, do what we’re being paid for.”

“And I paid you well.” Federico spun them around, so his own back was pressed to the wall, and grabbed Edward’s face in his hands. “So, are you worth it?”

It was a rhetorical question, more a challenge than actual worries about the profitability of his investment, and Edward picked up on it immediately, lowered himself to his knees, where his hands went to work on Federico’s breeches.

Federico couldn’t hold back a small moan of relief when his constrained cock finally sprang free. He dragged Edward’s head toward it, but that wouldn’t have been necessary, because his mouth was already there, hungry, welcoming, wet heat. Federico groaned and buried his fingers in Edward’s hair.

“I should have gotten my cock sucked by a pirate sooner,” he said. “You could kill me with your little finger and yet here you are, on your knees before me.”

Edward didn’t – _couldn’t –_ speak, but the tip of his tongue brushed the bundle of nerve endings at the underside of Federico’s cock and a jolt of pleasure shot up his spine. He instinctually pulled Edward’s head closer, and the pirate yielded, choking only once as he went down further with eagerness.

Federico chuckled breathlessly. “You’ve done this before, haven’t you? I wonder what else you’ve done.” With a movement that took him a great amount of willpower he dragged Edward off him. His mouth was ruined, red and spit-wet, and his eyes were glowing in the light from the candles, pupils wide inside them, narrowing out the green at the edges. Federico let his thumb wander down the side of his face, over the small scar on his cheek. “What else _have_ you done?” he asked.

“Mostly women,” Edward replied, his voice even gruffer than before.

Federico let his thumb move further over Edward’s lips into his mouth. Edward clenched his teeth around the finger to keep it there, soft enough for it not to hurt.

“I want to fuck you, Edward,” Federico murmured. “May I?”

The look Edward gave him nearly brought him over the edge right that instant. It was all heat and provocation, like he was _daring_ Federico to take him, and in that moment he knew that he had been ruined for all whores in this world. He pulled his thumb from Edward’s mouth and dragged him to his feet.

“Get your pants off and lie down on the bed, back up,” he commanded, before getting rid of his own shirt and trousers. Grabbing the trusty vial of oil he always kept clean and refilled in a drawer of his wardrobe on the way, he walked over to the bed. Edward had done as he had been told and Federico gave himself a few moments to admire the view. Edward’s tanned back was decorated with more black ink: Two wolves jumping at each other from his shoulder blades, a sword standing upright in the middle over his spine and more artistically woven skull designs surrounding the scenery. The dip of Edward’s back curved into the swell of an ass that put many beautiful things Federico had seen in his life to shame, and reminded him of his neglected cock, still hard and heavy between his legs.

He climbed the bed, reached to the upper end of it and took one of the less expensive cushions from there.

“Lift,” he said, tapping Edward’s ass. Edward did and Federico shoved the cushion beneath his hips.

His right hand started covering ground mostly of its own accord, moving over the vast expanses of Edward’s back, before Federico remembered the vial, opened it and tipped it to let oil drip over his fingers. Then, slowly but steadily he crawled upwards, dropping the vial on the bed and leaving three oiled fingers to circle Edward’s hole. His cock was pressing against Edward’s back and he kissed his neck before putting his mouth to his ear. Edward’s head was turned to the side, his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted. He was breathing fast.

“You don’t have to speak. Just nod for yes. Did sucking my cock get you hard?”

Edward nodded without hesitation.

Federico smiled, let one finger stop its circling and slip over the rim, into heat. There was almost no resistance, and a soft moan rumbled its way out of Edward’s throat.

“Is this getting you harder?”

Another nod.

Another finger.

Federico breathed a kiss onto Edward’s shoulder blade, slowly pulling and twisting his fingers. He noticed the erratic little movements Edward was making against him and the cushion, trying to push into his fingers and get friction at the same time.

“That’s not enough for you, is it? You want more?”

Nod.

Federico let the last finger slip in, giving Edward time to adapt to it, even though his cock was straining against the flesh beneath him. He was going to ruin Edward for everyone else, just like Edward had ruined him. Or at least he was going to give it his damn best try.

Edward’s movements had grown more frantic, like he was already chasing his orgasm, and Federico gave a disapproving sound and removed his fingers.

“No, not quite yet.”

Edward groaned deep in his throat, a declaration of his frustration, but he didn’t say a word.

“Tell me what you want,” Federico demanded, somewhat gently. “Just tell me. I’ll give it to you. Or…well, or I could leave you like this. Empty and desperate to get off.”

A soft, barely distinguishable noise came from Edward’s mouth. “Fuck me.”

“What was that?”

“Fuck. Me.” Edward repeated, louder.

Federico smiled, took the vial from the bed once more and slicked himself up. “How could I not oblige when you’re asking me so nicely?”

With a last summoning of self-discipline he guided himself slowly into Edward’s welcoming body. It felt like a furnace surrounding him, soft like the velvet garments down in his shop, but hotter; and a breathy moan told him that Edward was enjoying this, too. He tried to start out at a slow pace, but Edward was rutting back against him, and on the next occasion Federico slammed home with as much force as his position allowed him, grabbing Edward by the hair and pulling his head back, but giving him enough time to get his elbows under him and follow before it would really hurt.

Federico chuckled. “Mh, you like it rough, huh? Could have seen that coming.”

He pressed Edward’s head down again, keeping his hand where it was, so it would stay there.

“Tuck your knees in. Go on. I’m not asking twice.”

He felt Edward struggle beneath him, activating his muscles to bring his knees in while Federico took the cushion away and moved with him, until he arrived in a kneeling position that gave him a lot more leverage. When he slammed home this time he could tell that he had chosen the right angle – Edward was practically _whining_ beneath him, all friction from the pillow lost, but oh so ready to come, and Federico decided to grant him some relief. He wrapped his free arm around Edward’s hip and took a hold of his cock, rock hard and weeping at the tip. He stroked it, twice, three times, then let go again.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Edward grunted, but it was the only complaint he gave.

Federico smiled and let his hand travel up over Edward’s chest, over sweat and scars and lines of black ink that he couldn’t see from here, keeping his thrusts steady and deep. “Can you come like this, Edward? Without touching yourself? I’m sure you can. You were made for this, weren’t you?” Federico could sense his own orgasm building at the base of his spine as he spoke, courtesy of the overload of visual and physical stimulation he was getting, but he wasn’t going to let it gain control just yet. He wanted, _needed,_ to see Edward lose it first, at his hands.

“You like this, don’t you? Whoring yourself out to someone you could strangle with your bare hands. Getting on your knees and letting me fuck your ass like it’s your job.”  
He gave a particularly brutal thrust and felt Edward’s muscles tremble.

“Come. Now.”

Federico pulled Edward’s head back by the hair once more, slowly, – and that was all it took. The walls of muscle around him clenched and Edward groaned and came all over the bedspread beneath him without a hand on his cock.

That was when Federico finally relinquished his self-control. Another three thrusts later he was coming, too, tumbling over the edge, white bliss in his eyes; and then he sank down atop Edward on the bed in a sweaty heap, fairly convinced that he’d never be able to move again.

  

***

 

“When can I meet you again?”

Edward tilted his head and put the three hundred and fifty _Reales_ Federico had just presented him with into one of his vastly multitudinous pockets. He was fully clothed again, and outside the sun was rising. “I’ll sail tomorrow.”

“How about tonight, then?”

Edward grinned. “Sure, why not. We should grab a drink, too.”

“Agreed.” Federico opened the door for him. “Watch your back out there. They’re hunting for pirates.”

Edward laughed and shook his head. “You got it wrong, Federico. The pirates are hunting for them.”

And with a last nod in Federico’s direction he walked out the door.


End file.
